Nollywood actor, producer and model, IK Ogbonna recently advised his female fans on Instagram, urging them not to give in to any man who is above 30 with a healthy income and is yet to put a ring on it.
American relationship expert, Terry Deron did not seem to agree with the actor as he called the post stupid.
“I was sent this post and asked to give my thoughts on it. This post was intended for women in Africa and their dating culture is very different than it is in the United States. So for American women I think this advice is stupid as hell for a variety of reasons and any woman that would use dating strategies like these is setting herself up for failure. For starters I think the whole idea of a woman ending a relationship after a year simply because they aren’t married is dumb. Women that date with this kind of preset timeline almost always ruin relationships that could have potentially lead to marriage by trying to force the issue. Which is exactly what is described here. There are no guarantees in any relationship so anyone that ever expects to get them has unrealistic expectations about how real life works! Cutting off bedroom benefits equates to withholding sex to manipulate the man. Another very destructive and unproductive behavior. Doing stupid stuff like that is much more likely to lead to cheating or a break up than it is to lead to an engagement. This is basically a woman passive aggressively giving her bf an ultimatum to marry her and I don’t think this tactic would be very successful at all. A woman that tries this with a man that is financially secure and possesses the qualities that most women view as husband/father material that is already committed to her is a damn fool that’s going to end up looking and feeling like an asshole in the end! Healthy relationships are formed organically and they don’t have preplanned timelines. This is an example of a woman with a severely flawed view of how relationships work destroying her relationship from the inside out! DON’T BE THIS CHIC!”
IK Ogbonna replied the relationship expert.
“Popular American Relationship expert @terryderon had called my advice to the ladies “stupid as hell” for reasons best known to him so Sir here is my reply to you… My Father once said “When a man meets a woman he already knows what he wants from/with her”. That being said …A man won’t always tell you but he will definitely ALWAYS show you the intention he has towards you . Women,on the other hand,more often than not see what they wish to see thereby making excuses for the Guy and whatever shitty treatment they might get from him. The society we find ourselves has subconsciously placed the men as “the shot callers” because the African woman is not expected to propose to the man.A man should be honest enough to define the nature of relationship he has with a woman,because some ladies do wish to settle down as they are biologically limited when it comes to childbirth and all,this is not saying “desperation” in anyway and it’s not nice to give someone fake hopes. But at the same time ladies,listen carefully: In order to protect yourself from men wasting your precious time ,my sisters,you need to LOVE YOURSELF enough not to settle for an incomplete “deal” ,excuses,and not to settle for small piece of attention all because you are lonely. A man that truly wants you will show you and the world around you that you are his woman and you won’t need to force it,guess,doubt,wander ,no matter the circumstances. With all due respect @terryderon just like you rightly said the dating culture for the Africans and Americans is different but regardless a Woman’s need is UNIVERSAL.”